Rhyming Uncertainties

Done

2009-03-26T19:01:00.001-07:00

And when she breathes, she burns. Ever so slowly without the afterglow. Another memory that she used to know. A part of her that doubts what she came to find out, a bittersweet ending that made her cry her eyes out.

For two weeks counting or more, between love lost and living life to the fullest without--

--some strings

attached on her

e l b o w s--

Dig deeper, they say. Make it through the day.

Compromise and betray--

the feelings of astray.

Alcohol; bitter and understanding. Let's you let go feelings of insanity.

For a while.

But just for a while. And to him, it doesn't matter. To her, it didn't matter. Because what's done is done.

And they can't complicate the matter. It's revenge on the platter. Without aiding the banter-- done.

I hate you.

2009-03-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

For the better part of me that you brought up.

I hate how every smile is a reminder of how you existed.
I hate how every touch of lips reminds me of bliss.
I hate how skin against cloth, cloth against skin makes me miss.
I hate how words you utter keeps making me wish it was those three little words.
I hate how full I felt inside as you just keep on loving me.
I hate how everyday I just keep on falling, but everyday I just kept on pushing you away.
I hate how different you are from everybody else.
I hate how love has given me a chance to change and even though it's a bit late, I'm realizing--

How much I hate myself for not appreciating you the way you should be appreciated--

How much I hate how I let it go this far into pushing you away--

How much I hate letting go of my happiness.

Time.

2009-03-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

What happens--

--when you have the guy of your dreams in front of you?

Yet you're not treating him right... and he leaves you.

You have to live with the fact that you had him.

... How will I cope with that?

Sweet necessities.

2009-03-06T10:10:00.000-08:00

Where can we get high so we could fly?

Naive.

2009-03-05T08:03:00.001-08:00

Utak, nasaan ka na?

Puso, tama na.

Tiyan, isa ka pa! Pwede ba?

Sa pagkahilo,

nawawala ang

PAGKATINO.

Such an ugly thing, someone so beautiful.

2009-02-22T21:28:00.001-08:00

I want to be a porcelain doll.

So when I break, I'll still look pretty.

Another.

2009-01-29T09:32:00.000-08:00

You keep saying those words
and yet it lost its meaning.
I always thought I was wrong
that you didn't love me--
anymore, I was thinking.

It's going to be another
used-to-be,
And I'll move on from
my misery.

Say hello and goodbye, baby.
You're going to be just a memory.

For Vya.

Ramen.

2009-01-18T08:53:00.000-08:00

It's all confusing.

Either you're warm or you're cold. You're never the same. And the taste in my mouth linger till the sore of my throat and it still makes me quiver. As the soft texture of you pass by my lips and I sigh in contentment.

Oh, how I adore you, Ramen.

Every little thing.

2009-01-17T17:34:00.000-08:00

I am a lint on your new coat. A speckle of dust on your new clean floor. A quick honk of the horn as you pass by. A fast moving car as you hurry on the road like a sigh. A train of thought that you can't put on paper.

A swift move of the hand to your cheeks in anger. A shake of the hand that the touch you can't muster. A kiss on the lips that you never wanted. A titter of the teeth as you found out you lost her.

A crowd of people in silence as you told a joke upfront. A list of things to do that you can't seem to put into action. A wish you want to be granted but is too impossible to even be considered. A reality that dwindles your fantasy.

I am a hindrance to your happiness. But I won't be any longer.

Breath.

2009-01-17T09:04:00.000-08:00

My eyes slanted, small as they are, see right through the depths of every word and every soul misheard. Darkened fog of confused and misused. Reality obscured with realms of justified gestalts. And when he pushed, it didn't hurt.

When she looked at him: blank. Void. None of emotions. But she cries inside because it hurts. When she lets it out it turns into salt. It tastes bittersweet when she ends it.

But she breathes.

Says

2009-01-14T19:50:00.000-08:00

He said and she said.

It was always the opposite. Shame that they can't find complacency amidst all the rubble of thorned roses and bittersweet pomegranates. He said and she said... with words mixed and jumbled.

Perfection.

Always sought after, but never quite a reach. Seems like a bitch to me.

Deaf.

2009-01-13T06:28:00.000-08:00

Shh, baby. Don't make some noise.

They said you're here but you don't have a choice. And you kept knocking... just knocking on my door. And I ask you, "why are you here?" but your voice is stuck in between your lips and your throat constricts and you never said a word.

Knock knock. And I hear it again.

I open my door and yet you stand there, never saying a word. I nudge, I ask, I plead for you to speak. Without opening your mouth, you turned back and disappeared. But the knock keeps echoing, but my mind has already shut its ears.

Shh, baby. Don't make any noise.

Because right now, I can't hear. I don't want to. It's my choice.

Apart

2009-01-12T06:53:00.000-08:00

PART I

Little pitter-patters on the back of this mind filled with contained laughter. Where can you see this beam of light echo against a metal platform.

What? Insane? Me? No.

It's just that... the voices in my head are too loud. They crowd my mind with their nonsense and their names unmarked.

PART II

Your hands seem so warm against this cold.

But... stop. Why won't hands so warm hold mine--against yours--and feel skin against skin and melt...

Just... melt.

And not care about reality because it doesn't matter when you and me seem to blend. And all you'll think about is that strand of hair against my lips... so kiss them.

Forget. And just... melt.

Seat.

2009-01-11T03:13:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting on this desk.

Of metal and wood mixed with the uncertainty of a presence.

Never knowing whether a person would sit down on the chair laid upon the table's contents or rather... would it be just another lonely day with my head resting upon my palm up and my elbows adjoining with the cold, hard surface.

Alone with my head propped up and waiting.

Alone... waiting.

Whether you'd pick this seat or that seat determines of your fate. This girl by the name Kate, now would you tell me if you'd rather I hate?

It's just another phase, they say. And I've been stepped on for too much to rather stay quiet. I gave up, gave in, and now I'm learning how to save myself from hurting.

It's either that seat or this seat. Just pick and hope it's worth it. Because the next time, when you pick that seat--over there where you're not known and if you're even wanted--then you'll find it... too late.

I've already given the seat for you to take.

Steady

2009-01-10T23:58:00.000-08:00

And you asked me before--

"Are you happy with us?"

And I knew--right then and there, I wanted to kiss you. Ravage your mouth against mine. Cheeks against cheeks, chin tilted, ears flushed, eyes closed, and tongue searching for the life given birth when your breath against mine never tasted better and sweeter than chocolate.

I wanted it long, soft, steady, and warm as all traces of doubt erased within your memory and your heart. It is an attempt to make you forget...

All those worries, those tears, those mishaps we seem to always get to when I'm around you. No. I just wanted you to see. See the laughs, the smiles, the way my eyes lit up when you're around me and just wanting to take your hand and lead you somewhere else where people won't be looking.

Yes. It seems a feeble attempt to keep you and your heart. But I stayed quiet. And I wished you would notice that smile. The smile that you kept recalling as you always told me and feel that warmth spread out across your body like a wave of feelings unleashed.

Yes. Dead God, yes. I wanted that feeling. For you. For me. And I never want you to forget how much it meant to me when those hugs and kisses were exchanged and our steady breathing became irate.

But in that moment, as you stood by and waited for the reply to the question I wished remained not asked because... obviously... I wouldn't even waste my time for a man that wouldn't keep me happy.

I kissed you.

Because you didn't need to ask.

You just had to notice all those words that never left my lips... but to my heart that keeps on beating just because you exist.

Quick

2008-12-09T10:31:00.001-08:00

by gritted teeth, i beseech you. a corner of your taste and lingering distaste. slowly lowering of pace, are we still sane? spoke of truer words but ne'er to and fro of coerce... lover lover, lend me your lips. speak song thy forth of sly wit. wish wish, before it strikes three. the time of the wicked. lend me your teeth.

Fleeting

2008-01-23T04:34:00.000-08:00

He treated her like a delicate flower,
Dressed her in the finest of clothes,
And bathed her in the essence of milk,
She was loved beyond all reason.

And he loved her like she was his.

But bit by bit she grew weary,
And her body dropped weak,
He tried everything to save her,
But too late did he ignore.

He thought of another plan,
Just to get her back to her feet,
Restlessly he did his best,
Just to make her alive again.

So weak...
She whispered to him.

And she knew one day she will fade.

But he didn't care,
He didn't mind,
He just wanted her to stay.

Someday,
She said.
You'll forget.

But he didn't want to,
So he didn't and she was gone,
Before he even knew it,
She wasn't his anymore.

Spin

2008-01-23T04:28:00.000-08:00

We're like two different cycles
of different worlds, not alike--
It keeps going round and round
in the pace of speed and sound.

When our digits entangle slowly,
Torturous with precise intent,
My heart beats out of control,
careful, dear, it just might fall.

And I shudder with your words,
They crawl unto my skin in shivers,
Crystal droplets fall upon my cheeks
and end up below me in rivers.

Slow movements of your fingers,
As they play their sensual notes,
Upon my musical surface it rose
a series of blissful dreams linger.

Playwright

2008-01-15T06:51:00.000-08:00

Covered in stitches,
and wrapped in tattered silk,
Broken and rotting,
Behind the scenes of the play.

Forgotten.

Within the confines of shadows,
She watched the others act out,
A few scenes, a few tragedies,
And another romantic bout.

She sees him with a woman,
Frail and a lady for a man to love,
She felt her heart constrict,
She wasn't ready to see him
with another in his arms.

"Love me like you did before,"
The woman said with a sigh.

"Give me all you have and more,"
He whispered back in the night.

In the shadows, she waited,
Till the scene ended and changed,
And as soon as the lady came back,
She cut the thread of essence
(and had her replaced)

The lights came about,
And the man appeared,
With her as his new lady,
But with a price to pay,
She was just for play.

Blood to Ink

2007-11-18T03:46:00.000-08:00

The waves sing their pleas,
Endless like the sunset rays of glee,
Footprints adorn the soft sands,
Our hands entangled in ribbon strands.

Their colour red mix with their innocence,
Like black and white taints the simplicity,
The sound of the bell signals their sanity,
Ding, dong, ding.

Their tears would meet halfway through,
Cheeks would crash beneath the stars and moon,
The lips of the forbidden had never tasted so good,
Like the morning after they wished were theirs,
Through and through.

The end was near and he always had known,
Like the salty tears that kept falling,
They wouldn't stop coming,
He would blame their blood,
He would blame their bond.

But she was slowly slipping away,
Just like what she said yesterday,
She would someday leave him alone,
But she would wait for him,
Forever, if he had known.

He would see her standing stiff,
Her eyes unfocused and pale,
But he reached out his hand and touched hers,
He held on tightly.

Tightly.
Like he would never let go,
And he can only wish he wasn't entangled with her in blood,
He loved her.

He loved her.

Under the moon and stars,
He promised her,
He would love her till death,
He would love her in Heaven.

He would love her in plain white linen.

Just like how he loved her in tainted silk,
Soft and smooth like the comfort of her touch,
Smeared with red, black, and white,
Her innocence,
He loved her in sin.

Wilt

2007-11-18T03:28:00.000-08:00

One day you told me you'll live,
And I waited for you with flowers on your grave and a smile on my face.
Waiting.

You told me in a few years we'll get married and have kids and have a beautiful house alongside the beach shore and watch the sunset go down but the few years were up. I waited for you for years but you never showed up but still I waited by your grave with a smile on my face with my body in another's embrace. Waiting.

My hands were wrinkly as well as the other parts of me, but I always saw the smile on my lover's face the same as yours once did. You promised me you'll come back but you never did, and whenever I waited with flowers in my hands and my heart on the bed we once shared in passion and amenities, my tears of joy will drip in the piece of land you rest on and I'll see your face below me.

You're decaying.

Hot with the heat of the cores of humanities.

Hopeless.
Dead.
Decaying.

Over and over and over again I read the words on the stone erected from the pits of the dirtiest land they laid it on. And over and over and over again I will cry and all my sanity will wash away with the sounds of my tears and the echo of the emptiness of my surrender. I will hear your voice again and it'll replay in my head like the thousandth time in that century you were away. It just seemed like it was yesterday when you left me with a smile on your face, and your breathing slowly lower its pace.

"I'll come back for you and live," you told me like it was the easiest thing to say. "You'll love me even if it'll take a while, you'll promise me, won't you?"

I told you I would stay and I watched your life slowly dissolve away like bleach erases the deeds done that day. Because it was your silkiest touch and finest of kisses that made me want to say that everything was okay, and you'll be fine and you'll be back someday, and whisk me away in our fairytale ending with smiles on our faces. But it never came.

I waited.
I waited.
I waited.
I'm still waiting.

But you never came.

And my lover will come to my side and wipe away my tears and smile at me like the smile you once gave me with love and hope and the tender promise of love reawaken.

"Don't worry," he said and he gathered me up in his arms like it was you who did it everyday. "It'll take a while but he'll come back for you and live. He promised you, didn't he? You'll love him even though it'll take all eternity."

And I saw you for the briefest of moments and forgotten that it wasn't you who I laid my lips on and the smile that graced my lips wasn't for you. Because I was tired of waiting and I wanted to see you soon, and for the love of all happy and the tears of hope that came down crashing, I noticed that my lover was just like you but without the blood on his face or the decay on his body or the eyes that told me he loved me even in sin and hope that everything was going to be okay someday.

My eyes unseeing I picked up the last sheath of soundness of mind and create the distraction abhorred. I would choke at the sound of my lover's whimpers as stroke by stroke the sloshes and sounds of his distress take notice at my own. I smiled at him.

Stroke
for
stroke.

And eventually fade away to nothingness like it was planned from the days passed to come. I remembered the tiles covered with red and the splotch of his surrender on the dry floor of your sanctuary. Where everything was white, pale pink, and blue. Like it was a baby's cries of a mother's love as it just came out from the womb. And it would repeat the memory over and over again, and I will cry at the tone of the voice of that last few sounds you made.

It begged me not to go.
It begged me not to go.
It begged me not to go.
It begged me not to let go.

But I did and I now I'm paying the price with my own blood and my own love and my own heart and my own life and I would say goodbye to my lover with a smile on my face and a tear rolling down in one swift grace. I waited and waited with bated breath, I waited. It's now my time to make commends and come to you with my body laid down on your piece of the earth and my hand rested on top of your decaying body.

It's now your turn to wait.

Porcelain Pain

2007-11-13T05:07:00.000-08:00

The taste
copper and wires
they linger in the tip of my tongue
and drenches away the pain of forgotten

Red would bounce
bounce
and spread out
and leave traces of pain and misery

cry out
like it was your last time
cry out
mercy.

Beat

2007-11-05T03:45:00.000-08:00

Heart.

It constricts,
Do you feel it?

... chest,
Heaves and falls.

Do you taste the blood?

Inside,
Trapped
Loved
And mine.

In my heart,
Are you still inside?

Little Bloody Mary

2007-10-30T03:14:00.000-07:00

Grinds...

Little Mary
Can you hear the sound
Of your life slowly slipping

away
away
away

And see your eyes widen
Your innocence gone
Laughter with the sound of

knock
knock
knocking

The sound of his breathing
Behind you
He's beside you
The echo of your screams at bay

Electric lights
Little Mary can't you see?
He's just there waiting
With his hands on your throat

And your lips open
screaming
Little bloody Mary

goodbye.

Her Last Fool

2007-10-18T06:34:00.000-07:00

Blood.

They trail down the tips of his fingertips to the edges of the tainted plain lace. And it makes her so happy to see his tears flow down from grace. His eyes. They bleed their darkest and retells his desires from Heaven's embrace. The pits of fire welcomes him to its disgrace. How shameful it must be but it makes her happy.

So she's happy with her head dunk down in the well of lost souls and see his eyes wide with happy tears in row.

Happy like the tempest with her knife thrust in your chest and makes your life end in one swift jest.

Her lies resonate in the earliest crest of childhood majesty and her humble jester would lie awake with his eyes open wide, waiting for her to say her ordered string of notes. More and more and everyday he would lie awake waiting for her lips to open and save his mind's clutter from the blood it drips with. But she would lie in her bed of soft petals and curl her fingers up for more, more, more.

More blood.

More suffering.

More him in the silver plate served at supper feast.

And he would cut a piece of his heart and serve it to her well with a grin on his face that says satisfaction. It makes her so fucking happy to see him bleed through his shirt and his hat strewn across the polished marble floor, blood-soaked and torn. His flesh heeded in the wrinkles of weariness and forlorn. But she doesn't care nor does she see through her happiness in seeing him bleed.

For her.

His majesty.

His queen.

Connected Skins

2007-10-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

They were born connected,
Skins stretched and lines adorn,
Their thoughts like a mind of twist,
Their love for each other not for twins,
But for the moon and sun feelings forlorn.

They would continue to play their song,
Even in the midst of blood and tears,
Fingers would sway in tune to the beat,
And the sky would blacken in surrender,
A cursed lullaby for the ears in mourn.

Reflections of night adjourn,
Rays of light rises above the scorned,
Pretty wings unfold and fly away,
Wishes brought to the Heavens,
Wishing they were unrelated.

Let fate sway.

Burden away.

Rewind

2007-10-08T01:12:00.000-07:00

Why did you talk to me?
I thought you were nice.

Why did we become friends?
I thought you were fun.

Why did you tell me jokes?
You laughed at the silliest ones.

Why did we spend so much time talking?
We used to have a lot to talk about.

Did you know I made songs for you?
You did? I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to hear them.

It made me remember you whenever I sing them.
Does it hurt you? You shouldn't anymore.

I want to.
Why?

I want to tell you.
Why can't you?

I don't want us to stop being like this.
It won't change. I promise.

You told me that before.
I did?

Do you think I'm pretty?
I do... I think.

I laugh because I think you're handsome.
You do? Is it funny?

It makes me smile.
It does?

I'm slowly falling.
Really?

Will you catch me?
I'll think about it.

Do you like me?
Are you worth it?

I wish I never asked.
I wish you never asked.

Are you still there?
I am.

But things changed, didn't they?
Yeah... they did.

Now I wished we never met.
Now I wished those things remained unsaid.

Do you love me?
In reality, I wish we never met.

Rust Feathered Wings

2007-10-04T04:43:00.000-07:00

Rust covers their wings,
Steel adorned with future rings,
Feathery strung with wet tears,
Hearts reaches out with deaf ears.

Difference of wishes pass dry lips,
The cold of oblivion creases their skins,
She was open and loved,
And she hungers for his touch,
But he can only love her without heat that radiates.

Without love that can penetrate.

He was cursed eternal,
Like Nicholas in Night Perpetual,
Day by day freedom escapes their grasp,
She would tell him she loved him,
She would wish that moment would forever last.

Hold on to the future and forget the hurtful past.

Heaven and Hell are always apart,
Cries of passion senses their brand new start,
Even as his body disintegrates away into dust,
Their eyes last would meet in a chain of lust.

Cry.

He would say as he takes his last breath away,
And he would be there in her eyes,
Remember what was yesterday,
Tell me what you dream of today.

And we'll love each other in harmony.

Even if I fly with my broken wings far away.